Boredom Drove Me To It

Men Seeking Women
...Let's Travel the World
(An actual Craigslist post with this title, that I put up to see what kind of reaction I would get from our beloved women of Minnesota and especially here in the Twin Cities. I was thinking most women would respond harshly but some still surprised me in that love, or lack there of, and money - no matter the cost of personal freedom, still has its place in society. I applaud those who responded in a way that the heart still reigns supreme. For the rest of you... Kind of pathetic.
Here is Mr. Charmer's ad for love:
I am looking for something very specific. I have worked hard to rise the corporate ladder and then start my own very successful company. I am not looking for anyone that is clingy, always needs to know where I am at, or needs to spend time “just talking.” Call me old fashioned but I think a males place is taking care of the “right” woman - right meaning conservative. You must be attractive, not overweight or be able to lose those “few extra” pounds, be able to keep a house clean (I have maid service but I don’t want to be embarrassed if you are a slob, make a good meal, and never question my judgment in front of others. I would eventually like to have children but my time is limited with work and social obligations. You would have great mothering skills or be ok with the idea of some sort of boarding school. I may seem to come off as shallow but what guy doesn’t want a little arm candy? If you can hold an intelligent conversation or at least try to learn the values I have so you can engage in one that would be great in our social settings.

About me: I am 45 (you: between 25-35). I do smoke and obviously drink with the corporate elite (I think it’s almost a job prerequisite). I am not tall at 5’8” so you cannot be taller than me. If you are close to my height I don’t mind if you wear heels as long as it’s not when we are together. I am a little on the husky side but not overly fat at 210 pounds. If I had time to use my club membership I am sure I could lose a few pounds but I would rather have fun with my life which I currently enjoy to its fullest. I am not a model but am not bad looking either. I could retire today and never be able to spend all my money but who doesn’t want more??? If things should progress to where marriage is a possibility a prenuptial agreement would have to be secured – this is not negotiable!

I am not the outdoorsy type so if long walks and hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting are important to you – you might want to check out Elmer in his post. If you like the finer things in life like an expensive bottle of wine, theater, world travel, fast cars, and big homes…then I am your man! All I ask is that you respect my money, my homes, my values, and my life style.

I have tried eHarmony and it seems they are all after one thing – my material life style. I am very generous but this is not a 50/50 relationship. I earned all I have before I met you and you need to understand this. This will be like an interview process or “speed dating” as they like to call it today. If there is no picture that details your physical traits you will be eliminated right away. If you can’t spell then I am sure you might not be great in the social circles I keep. If you think your sexual appetite is greater than anyone I have ever met to compensate for looks or intelligence don’t even bother typing a response. With that I will let the “vetting” begin.

Let’s travel the world together!

Quotes From Actual Employee Reviews.

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train aint coming."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"When his IQ hits 50...he should sell."

Find Your
MATCH

I am a

looking for a

between		and

zip/postal code

THE RESPONSES:
(Unedited)

Ok, explain this to me...you want a young, beautiful woman wh is NOT materialistic. Yet, in your own desceiption you are average looking at best, on the shorter side, overweight/portly, bald (from your posted pic) and you are rich (which you made perfectly clear in your ad). Yet, your mate has to be young, thin, beautiful, possibly ready for kids, educated (as you want her to hold decent conversations), she must also be short and you want to control her clothing choices (no high heels)).
You likely don't want a real, thinking woman's opinion however, comeon, let's get REAL here. If you are avg looking and portly don't expect a supermodel unless you are ready to pay for one (i.e., she's likely going to be materialistic). Most of us women do appreciate honesty and realistic expectations (even the dumb, big boobed, size 0, blondes out there).
Expect your same level of attractiveness or expect to pay for something that you are not.

You are the weirdest person I've ever read about on craigslist. You are all over the board! What do you really want in life? Happiness or things? What ever you choose, I hope it keeps you warm at night. Human to Human, I hope you find the Secret to Experienceing a Joyful Life.
Saludos!

All's I can say is, "Wow!"
What I'm thinking is that perhaps if you don't want someone to only want your material goods, then perhaps you'd be better off not dangling that out there. It doesn't need to be said upfront - IMO. If the initial meet shows potential, then off to the next step, a date, but you certainly wouldn't be taking someone to your palatial estate after a first date, would you????!!!!!
I don't mean to heap unsolicited advice on you - I don't meet your parameters so I'm not 'vetting' for your attention, just a female who has way more than any males I've been meeting and don't intend to be robbed of what I've worked very hard for. Therefore, I actually sold the big house and am living a very low profile lifestyle for now. You are very specific about what you are looking for, but I'm wondering what feeling, intelligent, classy lady would give up her independence and freedoms to have your children and put her needs after yours. It doesn't sound very fair to me regardless of how generous you say you are. Just something to think about....
Good luck!
Michele

I just tried sending you a pic, but my file is too big. here is a little about me...I'm 32, athletic build (I'm a runner), blond hair, blue eyes, never married, no kids, own 2 businesses (soon to be 4). So, I'm not looking for other guys money. I have my own. If this somewhat peeks your interest, I would be glad to send you a picture.
Have a great Sunday night!!!
(she emailed again - this time with a picture of herself).

I am curious to find out how many emotinally handicapped barbies respond seriously to your pathetic ad. You need to have that ego of yours taken down a few notches. I am a 49 yr old woman and would tell you that you are emotionally and physically handicapped. There is a good reason you are single and TRULY shouldn’t reproduce. We don’t need your gene pool out there.
PLEASE stay single and not Procreate.
Be well and have a great day

What a nice shopping list. I sincerely hope you find the woman you are looking for. I read these ads, for the fun of it, and sometimes, there is one that stands out and deserves a response; even if, I am not applying for the position.
You sound like the person that would have been right for me when I was able to have children. I would have been a stay at home wife and mother. Your home and your clothes would have been attended to. Your meals, and they would have been what you wanted, would have been cooked by me and we would have enjoyed them together. I would have happily done those things for you.
Instead I married a jerk. Expected me to work and do all those things and have children too. No regrets. I have 2 beautiful children. I would not marry again.
As I said, good luck. You sound like you deserve to find the woman you want. And the woman you decide on should know how lucky she is to have been chosen.
Ciao,
Ruby

Lets travel the world and have some pie. I want some pie.

Ok I never write to these but yours takes the cake.
Why dont you just build your own doll then you would have what you are looking for!!! Good God man, are you that perfect?? I doubt it. Good luck you will need it!!!

I like how well spoken you are…..do you have a profile on another dating site? Reason I ask, is that I do….I would be more than willing to share that profile with you as I believe it is well articulated.
Me….SWF, never been married, no kids….do not smoke, socially drink, emotionally stable, fiscally responsible and ¾ Italian…boat owner, biz owner (4 months off over the Winter)…..39(but no one usually guesses my age right, SERIOUSLY), 5’3” and do like heels and wt proportionate. I enjoy staying active.
I want it all and have not settled. If interested, I will share a photo if you will.

Hola! I'm looking for a good time and from your post I can see you are too. Respond to my other mail so I know you’re for real.

whats up man??

Very cool ad,,
I am very selective who I date. I tend to be extraordinary in the way I live my life .I am business minded , creative, independent as hell.I do not cling,, just seeking that mutual respect.I do enjoy the finer restaurants .I can hold a conversation with anyone,, on just about any topic.45. 5'6

WOW, when I read your email I initially wasn't going to respond but then again, I had something on my mind and decided to respond after all. I was going through CL, as I do now and again, hoping to find a that special someone. I lost the best thing in my life to heart disease a couple of years ago. Enough of me, I felt compelled to write you from my heart. I do not fit your profile in age, or much of anything else. I just wanted you to know that we are all special, but you seem to want to take away from the one you are looking for. She can't wear high heals around you because you seem to have difficulty with people taller than you? She has to love you under so many circumstances. Why can't the woman love the finer things in life along with the simple things in life? I would take Elmer and happiness any day over money and misery. The best of luck to you, and remember, you are perfect no matter your height, your weight, whether you are blue or white collar, educated or not, hair or none...............it's what is in the heart that matters. I came to my senses when I came of age. This email is not intended to offend you and I hope that it hasn't. If you are looking for a warm woman who is real and with substance then you should consider rewriting your ad, however, if you are looking for someone cold and calculating, then this ad is perfect.
Good luck and God Bless...............................
Roxanna, beautiful, educated and full of heart

Good morning-
After reading a few posts on CL, one would wonder if yours was for real or not... But there was something in how it was written that compelled me to reply.
I'm 38, a single mom, have worked in accounting/IT for many years, and have been in the national guard/reserves for eleven years. I am divorced and live in the SE metro. Non smoker, social drinker and never touched a drug in my life. My email address is a nickname from being the only airman in my Navy unit.
I have lived a life that was filled with more material things... They make it more comfortable but not fulfilling. I seek someone that is able to provide those things for himself but seem to keep meeting ones that are wanting or waiting or expecting it to come from me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spoiling my partner in any way I can, but I am not looking for another 'child with expectations' unless through birth.
I'm 5'4, 38c and am curvy, if you like women with hips/ass, that'd be me. Hazel eyes, shoulder length naturally curly reddish brown hair, easy on the eyes.
I have probably said enough for now... Reply if you'd like a pic.
Enjoy the day, I believe I'm heading to Canterbury to watch the ponies one more time.
Traci

Heya their
haha J/K....I can spell! I've included a picture of myself....let me know what you think. I'm on the right.

Helo,hehehe j/k Hello,wow u sound well how should i say different? I'm so curious as to how your responses are??and to what luck or lack of you are having?With a ad like that yes i assume to weed out pure gold diggers would be a task,anyway I'm sure i wont hear back but what city are you in?
Christina

(This person I actually talked with from Match.com at one point. Almost met her but a long story short - There are 3 Caribou Coffee shops in Woodbury and I went to the wrong ones first and we never connected. A very attractive woman from Woodbury who after reading her profile I was wondering if she was a shallow, money hungry person (wanted to use something other than person here) and I thought she might be. Ohhhhhhh so tempting to play with her a little bit - but I didn't. Hope she finds her "Mr. Right.") Her response: may I ask something? were you at the casino this weekend?

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